10 simple acts of self-love

129
COMMENT

One of the biggest challenges we face when we become an adult, is the responsibility to make our own choices.

This can be tricky, because we start off in life with so little experience.

Add to this, the fact that every single one of our previous decisions has been made for us.

We hear catch phrases like : "love yourself", but when it comes down to actual life experience, there is more to self-love than sugar-coated morning affirmations.

To live is learn.

To learn is to make mistakes.

To be okay with the mistakes that we make is self-love.

Self-love is not a quick fix, but rather a few simple things, which in the long run make the difference.

1. making a simple healthy meal

In a society where almost everything comes prepackaged, I think that making time to cook, especially for yourself alone, is an act of self-love.

A lot more goes into cooking than just mixing ingredients.

When we make time to cut our veggies, when we choose our seasonings, when we put good intentions into preparing a healthy meal, we make a statement - I am worth it.

2. SAYING NO TO THAT EXTRA DRINK

I have recently decided to reduce my alcohol intake.

I live in London and drinking is part of the pub culture.

There is nothing wrong with a drink here and there.

But then, what often follows is another drink, then another, then another,..until you clearly start regretting that last extra drink, that started all the bad decisions.

I am getting older too.

I want what's best for my health and my sanity.

Like a friend of mine recently told me : rehab is expensive.

3. saying no to red flags

You know what I love about the thirties?

You don't give a damn.

You've been there, done that, you can't be fooled.

You see trouble coming from a mile away.

They typically carry these big and bright red flags, which you can no longer ignore.

Self-love means saying no, even when it means that you are going to spend that one night alone, and the night that follows and the night after that.

Yes, when you put it like that, it can seem like a lot of nights, but if you do the maths, the quicker you get those red flags out of the way, the quicker you will move on and meet someone who adds up to your time.

4. MANAGING YOUR FINANCES

This is the dull part of adulthood, but I promise, once you stop acting like a 5-year-old with their dad's credit card in a toy store, you will have a sense of security that will add up to how you feel about yourself.

Learning to manage your finances is learning that your income is not play money.

Money is about choices.

When you spend money, you state unconsciously your preference and you reinforce your values.

If you only listen to that compulsive part of you that just wants everything now, you will forever feel empty, because you are scattered.

The more options we are presented, the less easy it is to stick to only a handful of healthy choices.

Paradoxically, reducing your options gives your mind less space to wander and more peace.

5. GOING FOR WHAT YOU REALLY WANT

Hear me once and for all - the perfect moment does not exist.

Not in the present.

Not in the future.

The only thing that exists in the present is potential.

Potential must be developed, or else it will never materialise.

You can wait your entire life to be ready, to have the right qualifications, to have the exact amount of time you think you need, but in the end, our biggest problem is not the lack of so-called perfect conditions.

It is the lack of self-confidence to push through.

Go for what you really want and go for it now.

You may not be able to make a radical shift right away, but everyday you have the option to readjust your sails, until one day you reach the destination.

6. STARTING OVER

Fail as often as necessary, so you can start over with a new plan.

Keep starting over until you succeed.

Everything is just a series of attempts until it's done.

7. reducing your social media intake

I, for one, love social media.

I love the opportunity to connect with new people.

I love exchanging ideas and forming new friendships.

I think people all over the world are amazing and truly unique, but that means I must also be able to monitor my intake and switch off that phone, when social media is impeding on reality.

In my opinion, social media should be like a movie trailer, but the real movie happens in reality.

8. REVISING YOUR PRIORITIES

There is a false sense of urgency that often comes with people or things competing for our attention.

If you are not careful, you can end up wasting all your energy, responding to various requests until you do not have any more energy to do the things you like.

You cannot be everywhere and it is okay to miss out on "cool" events sometimes.

A lot of things can wait.

Self-love is to be your own manager and to be able to see what benefits you.

9. managing your time

Self-love is when you make time to get a good night's sleep.You are not a robot.

10. knowing what matters in the long run

Sometimes, simple acts of self-love such as these, will not feel easy, because some of them will imply restricting ourselves.

Self-love is not about instant gratification, but rather about investing in actions that will support you.

Self-love is about keeping a vision - where you see yourself, how you see yourself getting there.