Words Matter


1. It is not what you say that matters...

I've learnt one thing, the saying, 'It is not what you say, it is how you say it' is very true.

Recently I have been trying to think more before I speak and of course there will be some people you can't help but want to be mean to.

I am not proud of it, but I have actually accomplished a few things in situations like this.

I try not to say anything negative, and if I know I cannot help it, I remain quiet.

Sure, this may make them think that I don't want to talk to them, but for me it's better for them to think that than for me to say hurtful things to them.

The point is, words can sometimes make us feel worthless.

Some ways to abstain from saying hurtful things to someone are:

2. think.

Think carefully before you speak.

If the person asks why you aren't answering them, a simple "I'm thinking" is very understandable.

3. wait.

Wait for people to explain themselves properly to you.

Not knowing the entire situation can cause you to think false thoughts and make false accusations.

4. explain.

Try explaining things to people instead of accusing them of doing something wrong.

Tell them that it happens sometimes.

I work in the hotel industry and at times my guests will not understand a certain procedure clearly and they will want to argue about it.

After explaining the procedure to them they usually apologize and I say to them, "It's okay, it happens sometimes." This makes them feel better because they know that I am not blaming them for not understanding things fully.

5. know when to stop talking.

If you notice a change of discomfort or unease in a person's attitude of voice, stop talking.

At this point the individual is thinking that you are putting a blame on them and is taking everything you say to heart.

6. ask someone else.

If you know that it would be difficult to put things off in a nice way to someone, ask someone else to do it.

7. do not ramble.

Keep your words short and sweet, or even mild.

People will usually understand the first few words you say, but if you keep going on and on they will think that there are endless faults within themselves.

8. be quiet.

If you cannot say anything nice, do not say anything at all.

It is far better to say nothing, keep your thoughts to yourself, and avoid deeply hurting someone's feelings at all costs.